Painting is a Process II

I started this painting of Tikka in last night's class (see last week's post)...I will probably have it finished in the next session (only halfway done)...Did this in about an hour...it's almost looking like Tikka...Update: The pretty much finished Tikka!

You Are Loved!

I was feeling quite burnt out from work, tired and a tad depressed a few weeks ago. Getting up so early, and driving to work in the dark is simply not natural and quite a turn off. Well, this particular day, I found my usual parking place and was gathering up my books and what nots and this slip of paper was on my passenger seat.

I do not know where it came from, who wrote it or if it even was for me. But, I felt like I got a message from God...seriously, and I don't know if I even believe in him. Such a simple message, "You are loved", but probably something most of us don't think about. At this time, I was actually feeling very UNloved (remember, I'm the mother of a teenager) and UNappreciated (and I teach kindergarten) but this note got me thinking. Off the top of my head I could count 15 people that I knew, at that moment, loved me, and if I called them in a crisis (oh, and some of them I have!) they would be right there. That's pretty good, I think. I read somewhere that you need 5 good friends who you can really count on, trust with your darkest secrets, share experiences, talk to about anything, etc. etc. to be emotionally healthy and feel connected.

So, my little serendipitous finding has stayed with me...literally...I carry that note around in my car and if my thoughts even think about straying to the negative, I just remember, "I am loved!" and YOU are, too... LOL

Bed Princess

There is no doubt who the alpha bitch is in my house...and it ain't me! Tikka gets pretty much whatever she wants. She knows she's all that. She is so cute and loving, I just have to look at her and she gives me her cute face or rolls over for a belly rub, or grabs her stuffed toy and tries to goad me into a game...all things that are just too damn cute I can never say no to her. Many dog trainers say it is a bad idea to have your dog sleep on your bed. Well, I've obviously broken that rule. Tikka is very particular about where she sleeps on the bed, too...and poor Roman knows his place. All Tikka has to do is give him the look and he satisfies himself with sleeping on the floor, poor guy! In the above photo he tried to squeeze his 60 pound body into TIKKA's little bagel bed (made for a 20 pound dog), while she had my bed all to her cute self.

"I Can't Paint"

(drawings by someone who said he can't draw)

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Caroline always starts her painting class with exercises to loosen us up and get us into our right brain. This exercise is called blind contour drawing. You and another person, in this case, our friend Shannon, face each other and let the pen be your eyes...you draw their face without looking. The above is my drawing of Shannon, below is hers of me...I think they are pretty cool and very Picasso-ish.

Then, we got down to painting and I had this painting I really wanted to be done with, but felt stuck...

(this painting I started months ago and was pretty much done, but Caroline helped me make the background less flat-don't have a pic of that; acrylic on canvas)

(These are sketches I did at a drawing marathon workshop...these were 3-5 minute poses; charcoal on paper)

(This is a self portrait I did several years ago, haha...water color on paper...I need to do more water color, but it intimidates me!)

"I can't paint, I'll just come and hang out," my friend said when he expressed interest in joining me at Caroline's Tuesday night Painting On the Right Side of the Brain class held at the renovated Harvey Milk Rec Center. "That's ridiculous, nobody can paint and everybody can paint...you are just moving color around with a brush...you can't come and sit there."

Well, he did come and, while he did not paint, he drew these amazing drawings (The first two above...this was an exercise in drawing from upside down pictures which we did at the first class...the second pic is from a photo of Oscar Wilde). This is someone who is obviously creative, but doesn't believe he is. Most of us are that way. I get really discouraged when my little students tell me "I can't draw"..."I made a mistake,"...Kindergarteners are much more open with art. They will repeat my mantra, "There are no mistakes in art!" They are so open with taking one art project a step further. It's like the door opened and they are finding all those other doors just waiting for us. And, the other wonderful thing is how making art gets us out of our chatty, logical, annoying left brain! When I'm drawing or painting, I'm not thinking...I just am so absorbed...it's really hard to explain and no drug or drink can get me to that place. When I finish, I feel so high and energetic. That alone has been pushing me to paint almost every day since I started this class...So, if you need a break from your thinking, just sit down with pen and paper and draw; it doesn't matter what!

Caroline sent me this quote that I want to share here:

"There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and as there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium;and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others. "
~Martha Graham

The Guest House

The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes in,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Why Can't I Live at Ft. Funston?

Tikka's Tree...click on these images to enlarge and get a better view...

Tikka is also the epitome of LOVE!

Tikka IS not only MY ONE, but THE one...she won't let you forget it....
Seriously, why can't I live at Ft. Funston? I don't need much in terms of shelter...just some heat and take out food pamphlets that deliver...oh, and hot and cold water, shower. But not much else. I've been wanting to simplify my life for years and have done a good job of clutter clearing...but, every time I go to Ft. Funston...well...the sight of hundreds of dogs running with wide grins can't help but bring up feelings of happiness. I want to be here all the time! (instead, I live in the beautiful marina where drunk yuppies rule the weekends; pee in my patio, leave beer bottles on my stairs, smash my beautiful statue of Quan Yin (I'm still unable to talk about that) and, as of late, numerous drunk couples have decided to have their dramatic fights right in front of my house "But Kristine! Please, listen, wait, uh uh!!!")

I would think even if you are not a dog lover, you couldn't help but feel that positive energy a large collection of dogs, free of the leash and concrete of the city, can evoke. Even in the cold and rain, we had a great time at the beach this weekend celebrating Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday (thank you, MLK, for the much need holiday!).

Painting is a Process

People often ask me, "How do you even start a painting?"

The quick answer is, "I get some paint, my brush and just go at it..."

Right now I'm working on pet portraits...specifically, my own pets! This has proven harder that I thought since I need to get the expression just right so you can feel my dog's or my cat's personality. As you can see, my paintings are not 'realistic'...I am not a realistic painter and get my inspiration from impressionist painters such as Monet, Renoir, Mary Cassatt and a bit of Cezanne. While I can only hope to inspire to a fraction of their greatness of composition, color and subject...at least, I have some role models.

When I was in Amsterdam I also was inspired by Van Gogh. I spent a whole day, by myself, at the Van Gogh museum...not wanting to leave. Imagine my disappointment upon enter the Rijksmuseum and the depressing paintings of the the 17th century Dutch. I'm ashamed to admit that Rembrandt does not do it for me! As much as I wanted to appreciate their contribution (for that, I may need to take a class), I left the museum depressed and uninspired. Was it the boring subject matter (I mean, how many dead pheasants and peasant girls pouring water can one take?) or the traditional composition of the subject matter?

The impressionists did away with boundaries...boundaries between subject and background, boundaries between reality and a dream...they produced free flowing paintings that I just find so captivating with their use of color, composition and subject matter...They make me want to go deeper.

So, while my paintings are FAR from the exquisite formations of Monet, I hope the viewer can find the life in them, the pain in them, the joy in them and actually feel something, when looking at them...Art is so subjective, but I am opening my mind more and more to find value and inspiration in fellow artists' work.

So, stay tuned as I work on this painting of Roman (it is not done yet):

Bon Tempe Lake

Bon Tempe Lake is a mystical place in Fairfax. There are a few places that draw me to them and that make me feel, "I've lived here before," Hawai'i and Fairfax are two of them. Maybe when I'm a crazy, old dog lady I'll move to Fairfax as it still is a town a little off the beaten Marinite path...hippies, funky pubs, cute 'downtown' and amazing hiking trails right out your door. No surprise why I think I've lived here before(in my dreams?)!

According to Native American teachings, the Great Blue Heron stands for self reflection. Hmmm...very appropro since I've been doing a lot of self reflection of late

Teenage Wasteland aka I Give Up

Erik's room after he's cleaned it (too horrifying to post a before photo). I spared you a view of the closet. There's a wire situation in here, too, but the state of the room makes the wires seem almost a non-issue.

Ramp Closed: Detour Ahead: Last SF Exit

No, this is not a metaphor for my life, but what I actually encountered going to work via Doyle Drive today. A happy accident (since I knew about the ramp closure, but forgot...) led me along Highway 1's curvy drive above Baker Beach and through Sea Cliff. The only downer was that I was pulled over for speeding. For doG's sake...I was going as fast as everyone else! I think the cop just has something against orange Elements. Luckily, I was let go with just a warning, a sour grimace and I still made it to work by 7:49am (bell rings at 7:50am). I think I'll take depressing Geary street tomorrow....Or, maybe I will throw caution to the wind and just skip that last SF exit and head north...Seriously, who would miss me? ;)

Demotivators

Just Calm Down

I love The Onion!

Study: The Majority of "Calm Downs" Ineffective

Cat Refuses to Die