My favorite 'reality' bumper sticker is "Reality is for people who lack imagination."
My least favorite reality bumper sticker, "You create your own reality."
So, while I sip my morning coffee after taking ibuprofen, pseudophed and zyrtec, I've mused on this idea of reality.This is not the first time reality and I have bumped heads, and I'm sure it will not be the last.
Several years ago, a friend told me, "Well, we all create our own realities." This was the first time I had heard such a thing and I had an immediate negative reaction towards it. I would be going through some drama with my ex husband in court, or some difficulty raising my young child, and said friend would persist, "Well, you are creating your reality." Huh? While I have not always handled my problems with equanimity, I believe problems come to help us learn and grow. The mere act of having any sort of relationship with another living being is a problem! The issue is, was and always will be relationship, not reality.
Since that time, I've heard this mantra used over and over again in the New Age community. I love yoga, but all the benefits of savasanawould flee as the teacher would mention, "Keep breathing deeply, you are creating your reality every moment...everything in your life, you created." Seriously, everything? I honestly don't think this is entirely true.
While I'm all for positive thinking and want to be happy like everyone else, it's simply not possible to have that mindset all the time, let alone create it at will. In fact, the deeper one has experienced sorrow, the greater one's joys will be...they are two sides of the same coin. Sometimes, I need to work through that bad mood, depression or sadness so I can move on...instead of stuffing it so it can ferment while I fool myself into thinking my 'reality' is just grand. Suffering is a part of everyone's reality, and most people really don't want to create it...but, there it is.
I think the idea that we create our own reality is solipsistic. I create my own reality; I can do whatever I want, no matter its effect on others, and there are no consequences.Uh uh. Life just doesn't work that way. Everything we do has repercussions. We don't live in our own created reality bubble (unless you are a hermit, but even then, he has nature to deal with...). We must accept and deal with other people's 'realities' and the interconnectedness of Life.I create relationships by who or what I choose to spend my time with, I'll give you that. But reality is a much bigger, more complicated and elusive entity.
I don't think victims of war, hate crimes, molested children, etc. wanted these things to happen. If you abide by the 'you create your own reality' shtick, well, then, they brought those misfortunes unto themselves. They didn't send those positive thoughts out into the Universe. Sorry. Don't buy it.
Whatever reality is or is not, it is a bit egotistical to think, as an individual, we have so much power in creating it. We do play a part in creating certain things in our lives (what career to have, what partner to share with, whether to have children or not, etc.), but, I feel, the more people, animals, activities, things, etc. we have in our life the less control we have over 'reality'.
I challenge you New Agers to take a long, hard look at this 'create your own reality' stuff. Did the victims of 9/11 or the innocent Iraqi families whose homes were bombed create those realities? Did I have any part in creating this sinus infection resulting from an allergic reaction to high pollen counts?
Ultimately, we can either fool ourselves into thinking we have control over our realities or accept the fact that we have no control over anything and enjoy the ride. Reality, that shape shifter of the cosmos, constantly changing. No matter what we do or 'create', Reality simply is. Now, our reaction to reality, well...that's another post.
Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
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